I thought I had gone though the grief stage of processing the impacts of this ongoing pandemic, but as many much wiser know, grief is never “done” and it circles around in many ways. As we mourn deaths of the people in our beloved community, I also think about the collective loss of the past years, the missed opportunities for shared moments that let us know and be known by our community and deepen our connection together. Of course, there have been many moments of connection virtual and in person but I confess that I for one put many activities into the “for later, when the pandemic is over” category. And if I am really honest with myself, maybe the pandemic is an easy out - letting my inner awkward teen off the hook for not turning to someone I don’t know as well and learning more of their story or telling them mine. Whatever the reason or the cause, I feel the loss.
I read obituaries – I find them life affirming, hearing what people have chosen to do with their “one wild and precious life.” Often, I come away thinking, “I wish I had known that person.” How much the sadder when it is someone within my sphere, with whom I crossed paths or maybe sat with in a pew. I recently heard in an “On Being” podcast the statement, “there is the trip we plan and the trip we actually go on.” The art of living well requires reconciling our plans and intentions with what actually happened and making choices from there. The podcast was titled “The Losses We Grow Into.” What a thought to hold in meditation and prayer.
