Trespassing Our Neighbor
A couple weeks ago, Davi and I had to do something neither of us wanted to do: we “trespassed” a community member who regularly camped on the church grounds. After months of talking with this person, after times offering them coffee and a moment to relax or chat, and after several disruptive events when the person caused fear for some folk in/around the building, we finally warned them that, the next time they camped at the church, we’d call the Bellingham Police Department (BPD) to have them banned from the property: the terminology is “trespassed.”
I was sick to my stomach. Every Sunday we pray, “forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Furthermore, to “trespass” someone with BPD means that person is not welcome here, yet each worship service begins with one of us saying, “no matter who you are, or where you are on life’s journey, you’re welcome here.” Sick to my stomach.
After many minutes of scrambling for any reason not to take this action, we were at a standstill. Davi suggested we spend some silent time in prayerful discernment to listen for a way forward. We each individually heard the call to follow through with what we’d previously committed to.
There are times when our congregation needs to make difficult decisions. We do our best to follow First Congregational’s mission and vision, welcoming all individuals but not all behaviors. We recognize that sometimes, in order to have safer space for more people, we need to set behavioral boundaries. We’ve agreed to do this in several ways in the past: to keep children safer, all children’s ministries volunteers must submit a background check (we set boundaries around the behaviors of volunteers); to be an open & affirming congregation, we don’t allow lgbtq-excluding groups to use our building (we set a boundary around their exclusive behavior). There are many ways we hold one another accountable, inviting behaviors that serve the health of a broader community. Camping on the church grounds is a behavior we began discouraging when we built The Ground Floor, to safeguard that ministry.
In her book, The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters, Priya Parker talks about how it is generous and caring to exclude when a gathering has a particular purpose. She writes, “Excluding well and purposefully is reframing who and what you are being generous to—your guests and your purpose.” By asking people not to camp at the church, we are being welcoming and caring of the young clients and staff at The Ground Floor.
To be clear, trespassing our neighbor was awful. And we may have to do it again. But if we do it again without also working for affordable housing for all, we are not following God’s mission/vision/prayer for us. If the behavior is not okay, how do we support a different action? And how can we seek forgiveness for our own trespasses, unless someone lets us know we have trespassed?
Perhaps these are heavy ponderings for a Midweek Message, but they have been swirling in my spirit as we continue to seek Divine guidance in this time. I’m grateful we have one another to ponder with.
In hope,
Sharon
